BE SURE TO CARVE YOUR PUMPKINS BEFORE THEY HATCH.
Posted in Art, Halloween, Pop Culture and tagged Art, Drawings, Ed Big Daddy Roth, Folklore, Funny, Halloween, Halloween Pumpkon Creature, Jack O Lantern, Rat Fink, Scary, Spooky, Strange, Weird, Zombies by maroonbeard with no comments yet.
Posted in Art, Halloween, Pop Culture and tagged Art, death, Drawings, Halloween, killing time, Scary, Skeleton, Spooky, too much time on my hands by maroonbeard with no comments yet.
Posted in Art, Halloween and tagged Art, Halloween, Scary, Spooky, Strange by maroonbeard with no comments yet.
Tonight is the night, when moldy tombs tremble and quake.
Children roam free is search of soul cakes.
Death is so close, you can feel his stale breath,
as he draws nearer and pants at your neck.
If you feel a draft in your room as you’re trying to sleep,
clutch your hands tight and cover your feet.
Cold caresses from a long expired breeze,
Some lonely, cold souls just want a mortal to squeeze.
Posted in Art, Halloween and tagged Art, Halloween, Humor, Scary, Skeleton, Spooky by maroonbeard with no comments yet.
As Halloween Season winds down, I thought I’d share a post about how I celebrate Halloween. I’ve said before that we Pfeifer’s are weird, and we go all out for holidays. I was thinking about what the pillars of a “properly celebrated” Haloween are. And I boiled Halloween down to these:
#1 DECORATE LIKE CRAZY
Decorating outside and in is a necessary part of a successful Pfeifer Halloween. I counted this year and I believe we have around nine full size tupperware-style storage containers to accomodate our Halloween decorating crap.
One of the key components of a proper outside setup is the “Dead Guy”
Ever since I was little I helped my Mom make the dead guy on the front porch and one year I graduated to making the dead guy all by myself. He is always sitting in a chair, stuffed with paper and usually roasting something over a fire. If I didn’t incorporate this corpse into my setup, the setup would be completely fraudulent.
Other important features for a proper setup are Styrofoam headstones, bones and more recently I’ve tried to include a new creature annually…
#2 WATCH TONS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIES
I don’t usually watch a movie more than once or twice so I don’t buy many DVDs because they just sit there unwatched… Unless it’s a Halloween or Christmas movie, then I usually watch it once or twice a year. Maybe it’s a thirst for some sort of associated nostalgia or some kind or neurosis but here are a few of our favorites:
GARFIELD’S HALLOWEEN ADVENTURE
Garfield and Odie’s adventure Trick or Treating ends with them fighting to escape from some angry, dead, pirates…
DISNEY’S HALLOWEEN TREAT
It’s hard to find a good copy of this special these days but it is possible to find the videos featured in the show. Trick or Treat with Donald Duck , The Lonely Ghosts with Mickey, Goofy and Donald and The Legend of Sleepy Hollow are all Halloween staples.
ALL OF THE SIMPSON TREEHOUSE OF HORRORS!
Some of the wittiest moments and funniest parodies in all of television history come from the years of Simpsons’ Halloween Specials. Some have been better than others but I look forward to watching every year (although I was always pissed during those years that they played them after Halloween because of some stupid sports event called “The World Series”).
THE GREAT PUMPKIN
What Halloween would be complete without The Peanut’s The Great Pumpkin. There are some pretty classic moments in this short cartoon but the Trick or Treat sequence is probably still my favorite part.
# 3 THE PILE
When I was little we would call the pumpkin patch “The Pile”. That’s what I thought pumpkin patches were called , I guess the name got started because the patch we would go to was just a big old pile of pumpkins that you could climb all over and pick out your gourd from. Eventually “The Pile” was paved over and replace by “a pile” of crappy apartments, but the name mostly stuck around with the members of my immediate family.
Maryland had some pretty decent Pumpkin Patches and we found a pretty good one here in the area. Whatever the case, we always do our best to find a truly sincere pumpkin patch in order to pay our tribute to The Great Pumpkin.
#4 PUT ON SOME WEIRD COSTUMES
My Dad usually skips the first 3 traditions for the most part but he has really learned to embrace this one…
There are many more, but I have limited access due to distance from home. But, my Dad really knows how to just let go and put on a weird costume. All the other days of the year my Dad is in no way bombastic, conversely he is pretty reserved and conservative. So, if you want proof of genuine Halloween magic look no further than the spell it puts on Joe every year on All Hallows’ Eve.
In a pitiful attempt to compete with my Dad, my little family and I do our best to scare away the undead with our own disguises.
We do a bunch of other crap too but I’m sick of this post. Traditional food, smells, books and a million other little things all make Halloween a magical and memorable time for us. If anyone wants to share their Halloween tradition please do!
Also for those who made it this far into the post… There is only one more day to get my book “All Hallows’ Eve’ for free… follow the link! CLICK HERE!
Posted in Art, Halloween and tagged Art, Halloween by maroonbeard with 1 comment.
I have successfully uploaded my new Halloween book to amazon and it is FREE TO DOWNLOAD FOR THE NEXT FIVE DAYS! Please follow the link to download the book, if you like it please give me a good review. And if you don’t like it… DON’T READ IT!
AND PLEASE SHARE THE LINK WITH YOUR FRIENDS, THE MORE DOWNLOADS I GET THE HIGHER THE RANKING ON AMAZON…
Posted in Art, Halloween and tagged All Hallows' Curse, Art, Books, Children's Books, eBook, Halloween, Humor, Scary, Spooky, Strange, Zombies by maroonbeard with no comments yet.
In the tradition of wasting my time by writing and Illustrating holiday themed books I have just completed a Halloween Book! All Hallows Curse is a short tale about a kid who encounters some frightening spooks while Trick or Treating. I am hoping to have the book available for download tomorrow or the next day on amazon and it will be free to download for the first 5 days. I will make an official announcement once the title is available. Until then here is an image of the cover.
Posted in Art, Halloween and tagged Art, Books, Children's Books, Funny, Halloween, Humor, Scary, Spooky, Strange, Zombies by maroonbeard with no comments yet.
When I was a little kid I loved this poem/song, and I forgot it existed until today when I randomly thought about it. I am am excited to tell it to Ian and I encourage any other terrible parents to share it with their kids!
THE HEARSE SONG
“Don’t ever laugh as the hearse goes by,
Or you will be the next to die.
They wrap you up in a big white sheet
From your head down to your feet.
They put you in a big black box
And cover you up with dirt and rocks.
All goes well for about a week,
Then your coffin begins to leak.
The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out,
The worms play pinochle in your snout,
They eat your eyes, they eat your nose,
They eat the jelly between your toes.
A big green worm with rolling eyes
Crawls in your stomach and out your eyes.
Your stomach turns a slimy green,
And pus pours out like whipping cream.
You’ll spread it on a slice of bread,
And this is what you eat when you are dead.”
Posted in Art, Halloween and tagged Americana, Art, Funny, Halloween, Humor, Music, Scary, The Hearse Song, Zombies by maroonbeard with no comments yet.
If you haven’t guessed by now, I go all out for Halloween and Christmas. My house is covered with decorations on the inside and out (it’s an inherited genetic disease), our house and cars are scented with the pertinent holiday smells and I listen to seasonally appropriate music. I have wasted way too much time tracking down Halloween-related music and here are some of my favorites…
Oingo Boingo is one of those bands that I actually like almost every song on their albums. Pretty much all of Oingo Boingo’s Discography is Halloween appropriate and I’m not even talking about “Dead Man’s Party”. Seeing as Danny Elfman is the soundtrack composer of 90% of the Halloween movies in existence, it’s not so surprising that his songs from the Oingo Boingo days were pretty much all about death, destruction, insanity and distopia. If you really want to get a real variety of some of their best, “Boingo Alive” is my favorite.
Listening to Alice Cooper was a good way for a kid to rebel in the 1970’s. He was made to be controversial by design. His shows were outrageous and horror themed but it was all good fun. One of my favorite Alice Cooper stories was the one about biting the head off of a chicken. According to Alice this is what really happened:
“After an unrehearsed stage routine involving Cooper and a live chicken garnered attention from the press, the band decided to capitalize on tabloid sensationalism, creating in the process a new subgenre, shock rock. Cooper claims that the infamous ‘Chicken Incident’, which took place at the Toronto Rock and Roll Revival concert in September 1969, was in fact an accident. A chicken somehow made its way on stage during Alice Cooper’s performance; not having any experience around farm animals, Cooper presumed that, since the chicken had wings, it would be able to fly. He picked it up and threw it out over the crowd, expecting it to fly away; the bird instead plummeted into the first few rows of the crowd occupied by disabled people in wheelchairs, who reportedly proceeded to tear the animal to pieces.
The next day, the incident made the front page of many national newspapers, and Zappa phoned him to ask if the story, which reported that Cooper had bit the head off the chicken and drunk its blood on stage, was true. Cooper denied the rumor, whereupon Zappa told him, “Well, whatever you do, don’t tell anyone you didn’t do it”, obviously recognising that such kind of publicity would be priceless for the band.”
Alice is decidedly less controversial now than he used to be with all these new-fangled “death metal” bands hanging around. These days Alice has a Radio Show, Owns a Baseball Themed Restaurant called “COOPERTOWN” and golfs in his free time. Now Alice says controversial things of a different nature like :
Dirtbag… Anyway, before the days of golf carts and chicken fingers Alice had some pretty awesome creepy songs. The album “Welcome to My Nightmare” is great thing to listen to on your way to break into an abandoned Insane Asylum. But my favorite Alice Cooper song for this time of year is “Halo of Flies” from the album “Killer”.
Brown Bird is a fairly recent discovery for me, I really like their stuff but they kind of creep me out. There isn’t a lot of info about them out there but it’s some guy named David Lamb and some girl named MorganEve Swain singing old-timey folk songs that sound like they were recorded in a cemetery using instruments made out of human bones.
So far my favorite album is their latest “Fits Of Reason”, unfortunately David Lamb is currently battling Leukemia so they are on a temporary hiatus.
Like Oingo Boingo’s “Dead Man’s Party”, Warren Zevon’s best stuff is overshadowed by his best known hit “Werewolves of London”. Warren Zevon was a unique guy, he lived a crazy life and wrote some crazy music. His Dad was a member of the Russian Jewish Mafia and his Mom was Mormon. Needless to say Warren had an interesting perspective and it bleeds through in his music. On the subject of death Warren said that his Mormon background influenced him in that death was spoken about matter of factly around the dinner table. Warren was fairly obsessed with death and the macabre. Two of his most death obsessed albums were called “Life Will Kill You” and “My Ride is Here” they were released 2 years apart. Ironically Warren was diagnosed with terminal cancer shortly after “My Ride is Here” was released. He announced his diagnosis on The David Letterman Show. During the interview he noted, “I might have made a tactical error in not going to a physician for 20 years.” It was during this broadcast that, when asked by Letterman if he knew something more about life and death now, he first offered his oft-quoted insight on dying: “Enjoy every sandwich.”
If any of you 4 people reading this are interested further you can also check out my Halloween playlist on Spotify:
Posted in Art, Halloween and tagged Art, Halloween, Music by maroonbeard with no comments yet.
I was lazy yesterday, so here are some Music videos you should watch.
Michael Jackson’s Thriller
Oingo Boingo’s Insanity (more on Oingo Boingo later…)
Lindsey Stirling’s Moon Trance
Posted in Halloween and tagged Halloween, Music by maroonbeard with no comments yet.