My latest children’s book is now available for download!
I have added another short Children’s Book to my collection, it’s called ‘There’s A Puppy In My Tummy” and it is probably my cutesiest and least insane book to date. It’s directed to ages 0-4, if I were actually a “real” children’s book author I would print it as a board book.
This week it’s available as a FREE DOWNLOAD on amazon!
Just click the ad to be directed to the amazon listing!
Posted in Art and tagged Ads, Art, Books, Children's Books, Drawings, eBook, Funny, Humor by maroonbeard with no comments yet.
In honor of The Festival of San Picolas (Dec 6th), I have made The Tale of St. Picklas free to download on Amazon from December 6th until December 10th!
On this special day of feasting it’s also fun to remember why we honor St. Picklas, so today we’re going to explore the legends and folklore surrounding St. Picklas from around the world.
St. Picklas Origins
Have you ever wondered how St. Picklas received his sainthood?
On December 6th in the year 815 AD, Picolas De Pepinillo was on a an important mission to provide an orphanage full of starving children with a bushel of his life sustaining cucumbers. Passing through the mountains of Zarn he was caught up in an intense blizzard. Well prepared for the journey, Picolas pressed on and soon came upon a benevolent bishop on the side of the road. The man was unresponsive and nearly frozen to death. Acting quickly, De Pepinillo wrapped the bishop in his own coats and carried him through the deep snow drifts. Close to death he continued on with the thought of the poor starving children awaiting his Christmas gifts. On the doorstep of the orphanage, Picolas collapsed.
The bishop, having regained his strength, worked feverishly with the children to revive their benefactor. After trying nearly everything they attempted one last impossible task… Picolas de pepinillo awoke hours later in a tub of vinegar and cucumbers. The brine successfully thawed him out but had marinated him to the core. Any other man would have succumbed to the drastic change to their system but not Picolas. His goodness and faith had transformed him into the pickle man we know and love!
St. Picklas has expanded his mission to feed the world’s children. He is determined to bring the children of the world whatever pickle they desire; bread and butter, hamburger chips, cold pack… the choices are endless!
How is St. Picklas represented in other cultures?
You may be curious how St. Picklas is represented in other cultures. St. Picklas is widely celebrated in all parts of the world. Each area and culture integrates their traditions and beliefs in order to make St. Picklas more accesible.
Here are just a few of the variations you might find:
In the UK, children anxiously await the advent of Father Crispness, a sweet crunchy old man that has ties to the elemental celtic foundation of the British Isles. Father Crispness bestows delicious, crisp, cold pack dills to good little boys and girls.
France and Belgium.
In Frankish nations, Pere Petrin rides into town on a sleigh pulled by a team of fine bread and butter horses. Pickles are usually delivered with a sliver of cheese as the children cower beneath their sheets.
In the great, bearded, nations to the north, Sintergerkin, is assisted by his little pickled herring henchmen. He rides into villages on a great pure bred white scallion. If the children are bad, his little herrings kidnap the kids, bottle them up, and ship them to Spain. If the Children are good they are treated with roe stuffed gherkins in their shoes.
Have you ever wondered what St Picklas does during the off season?
Have you ever wondered what St Picklas does during the off season? We always see pictures of Santa Claus surfing in Hawaii or lounging on a beach in the Caribbean.
St. Picklas doesn’t have the same luxury as Old St. Nick… Remember, St. Picklas is a pickle, in order for him to maintain premium operational capacity he seals himself in a specially designed brining capsule. While Papa Noel bakes his wrinkled, cookie injected skin on the Island of Ibiza; San Picolas is gradually marinating himself in magic Christmas brine. Like a vintage vat of Christmas Wassail, St. Picklas only gets stronger with age!
If you are sick of seeing St. Picklas posts, I promise this will be the last St. Picklas post of the season.
For highly informative articles on Christmas folklore follow the links:
Posted in Art, Christmas and tagged America, Art, Children's Books, Christmas, Drawings, eBook, Humor, Picklas by maroonbeard with no comments yet.
All Hallows’ Curse had a pretty good run during it’s promotional period, just under 400 downloads. Thanks to everyone who downloaded the book, I hope you enjoyed it, I know I enjoyed creating it. In a couple weeks I’ll throw a free St. Picklas promotion back up. Until then, my distopian, post-apocalyptic children’s book “A Triple Rad Day” is available for free download on amazon for the next 5 days: CLICK HERE! …if you want to. Thanks again!
Posted in Uncategorized and tagged Children's Books, eBook, Halloween, Humor, Picklas, Uncategorized by maroonbeard with no comments yet.
Thanks for all the downloads, I had almost 90 downloads on the first day! There is still plenty of time to download and share “All Hallows’ Curse” with your friends. It is 100% free, but after Saturday it will be $1.99. If you did download it, what did you think? FEEDBACK IS WELCOME, take a minute to write a review if you can. Thanks everybody and I hope you like my weird little book…
For those curious here’s a sample…
Posted in Uncategorized and tagged Art, Children's Books, Halloween, Humor, Sample, Scary, Spooky, Strange, Trick or Treat, Uncategorized by maroonbeard with no comments yet.
I have successfully uploaded my new Halloween book to amazon and it is FREE TO DOWNLOAD FOR THE NEXT FIVE DAYS! Please follow the link to download the book, if you like it please give me a good review. And if you don’t like it… DON’T READ IT!
AND PLEASE SHARE THE LINK WITH YOUR FRIENDS, THE MORE DOWNLOADS I GET THE HIGHER THE RANKING ON AMAZON…
Posted in Art, Halloween and tagged All Hallows' Curse, Art, Books, Children's Books, eBook, Halloween, Humor, Scary, Spooky, Strange, Zombies by maroonbeard with no comments yet.
In the tradition of wasting my time by writing and Illustrating holiday themed books I have just completed a Halloween Book! All Hallows Curse is a short tale about a kid who encounters some frightening spooks while Trick or Treating. I am hoping to have the book available for download tomorrow or the next day on amazon and it will be free to download for the first 5 days. I will make an official announcement once the title is available. Until then here is an image of the cover.
Posted in Art, Halloween and tagged Art, Books, Children's Books, Funny, Halloween, Humor, Scary, Spooky, Strange, Zombies by maroonbeard with no comments yet.
Every Halloween it is tradition in my family to read John Whitcomb Riley’s poem “Little Orphan Annie” the visuals always terrified me when I was a little kid. I adapted it a bit for easier reading but it still maintains it’s basic style. I will always remember my Grandpa Brimley gathering us together in his living room by the fire and reading Little Orphan Annie as we sat in our costumes frozen with fear but happy.
Posted in Art and tagged Art, Children's Books, Funny, Goblins, Halloween, Haunted, John Whitcomb Riley, Little Orphan Annie, Scary, Spooky, Strange by maroonbeard with no comments yet.
Posted in Art and tagged Art, buccaneer, Children's Books, painting, Pirates, ship by maroonbeard with no comments yet.
The Mystery of The Christmas Pickle tradition is finally revealed!
The Tale of St. Picklas eBook finally available directly from the source! Enjoy your eBook on your PC, tablet or phone. The PDF format will make the book more widely compatible with more devices. Don’t miss out on the newest Christmas tradition!
Download now for only 1.99! Just Click on Buy Now button below, after your payment is processed your download will begin.
Posted in Uncategorized and tagged America, Books, Children's Books, eBook, Humor, Picklas by maroonbeard with no comments yet.
Click on the link on the sidebar to go to the listing! >>>>
Posted in Uncategorized and tagged Books, Children's Books, eBook, Nuclear Waste, Picklas, Rad by maroonbeard with no comments yet.