Middle School Art That Would Have Gotten Me Expelled

We live in strange times. Satire is dead, special interests must be appeased, and if you eat your pop-tart into the shape of a gun you are doomed. In my day, I whittled down the pointless hours of the school day drawing satirical and violent cartoons. I had no ill-intent towards anyone, I had no desire whatsoever to hurt anyone, for some reason blood and guts are hilarious to teenagers and the more outrageous the depiction the better.

On a recent visit to my parent’s house I came across a number of the aforementioned drawings from my days in 9th grade math class. Although crude in style and theme I am quite sure that if I were 14 year old middle school student in 2014 and a teacher caught a glimpse of any of these pictures I would be instantly expelled and possibly be submitted to psychological testing…

I do want to caution you 3 people who will look at this post to not strain your eyes by trying to read the horrific handwriting my 14 year-old self spilled onto this “art”.

 

The Acid Gun

Acid Gun

The Super Nuke

 

Super Nuke

The Clown Killer

Clown Killer

Bad Day

Bad Day

Chinese Pickles with Wings

THAT'S RACIST!!!

THAT’S RACIST!!!

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Obama’s Daily Intel Brief

White House says President Obama found out about VA scandal through media reports…

 

Obama's Intel Chief

Obama’s Intel Chief

 

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Political Cartoon by Request: Rogue Bovine!

I received a special request for a political cartoon about the recent events in Nevada with The Bureau of Land Management and the Bundy Cattle Ranch. I guess my comic just calls special attention to the awesome job the Federal Government is doing to protect it’s Western States from Dangerous ROGUE BOVINES!

EDIT: Also Mr. Bundy is a moron, my comic in no way condones his idiocy.

This Land is Your Land...

This Land is Your Land…

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COMMOИ CoЯE Caps

CommoИ CoЯE...

CommoИ CoЯE…

Imagine that you know some guy, you don’t trust him, you don’t have any confidence in him and he’s a manipulative creep. This guy draws up a plan to babysit your kids, it’s a great plan it has all sorts of important and neat features, and it’s wonderful according to him. Do you actually take the time to read his plan and weigh all the pros and cons, or do you tell him to get lost and stay away from your kids?

…That’s common core in a nutshell, as far as I’m concerned.

 

 

 

 

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The Constitution is Hanging by a Thread…

A recent article I read on The Blaze  about America being at a constitutional tipping point brought to mind an old phrase about the United States Constitution hanging by a thread. I don’t blame Obama for the complete disintegration of our political structure it has been a long time coming, but I do argue that his policies have greatly accelerated the previously gradual erosion of our freedoms.

 

The constitution is hanging by a thread.

The constitution is hanging by a thread.

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Kodos 2012!

We are merely exchanging long protein strings. If you can think of a simpler way, I'd like to hear it.

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MITT ROMNEY, UNITER

MITT ROMNEY, UNITER

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