Your own printable Krampus card!!!
Just as Santa differs in different regions so do his sidekicks. Krampus is basically a possessed, Satanic version of Black Peter and Rupert the Farm-hand. Krampus started as pre-Christian German figure and his legend spread to other alpine countries. Eventually he morphed into the guys we talked about before (Black Peter, Knecht Ruprecht) in some regions as he became incorporated into Christmas folklore. But he is still very much a part of the Christmas tradition in many places.
There are many variations of Krampus, but his basic form is that of a devilish, goat-like, beast. Long horns, cloven feet and covered with fur of varying colors.
Krampus is notoriously drunk and is said to reek of Schnapps and he likes to carry around a bundle of sticks to whip children with, and a tub or sack on his back so that he can more easily haul children off to be drowned, eaten or dragged to hell… I’m Not sure why this tradition never caught on in America.
Another Krampus-related tradition is to send out Krampus cards around the holidays. These cards usually depict Krampus shoving kids into baskets, pursuing large-breasted women or other strange sexual situations. Krampus is a real creep.
We already covered Black Peter but there are other guys that like to hang around with Santa to psychologically torment and abuse naughty children…
Ruprecht is another traditional German character. Roughly translated as Rupert the farm-hand. Rupert is basically Bizarro Santa; similar clothes but brown instead of red, long beard but it’s black instead of white, and he carries around a bag of ashes rather than toys. He gives some kids treats if they can prove to him that they are able to pray. But, if the kids are little heathens he beats them with his bag of ashes. He give bad kids crappy, useless gifts like coal, sticks and stones. So basically Santa has Rupert do all of his dirty work so he can bask in the glory of being the good guy. Apparently, Rupert can’t get a US Visa because Santa has to show his true colors and give out all the coal himself around these parts, and he seems to be pretty lax, that’s probably why kids are such spoiled brats here. We need more kids to be beaten with a bag of ashes…
Also, The Simpson’s dog is named Knecht Ruprecht in Germany rather than Santa’s little helper.
For more highly informative Christmas folklore follow the links!!!
Posted in Art, Christmas, Pop Culture and tagged Art, ArtX ChristmasX DrawingsX FolkloreX FunnyX HumorX Knecht RuprechtX KrampusX krampuskartenX krampusnachtX legendsX traditions, Christmas, Drawings, Folklore, Funny, Humor, Pop Culture, Spooky, Strange, Weird by maroonbeard with no comments yet.
Merry Christmas! In an attempt to draw something that doesn’t look like it’s rotting I scratched out this picture with a pencil. Probably not my finest work but I usually don’t dabble much in “serious” art…
For highly informative articles on Christmas folklore follow the links:
Posted in Art, Christmas, Religion and tagged Art, Christmas, Drawings, Holy Family, Jesus, Joseph, Mary, mormons, Nativity by maroonbeard with no comments yet.
Christmas Folklore, Legends and Traditions! More Christmas for Everyone! And The True Meaning of XMAS
More Christmas for Everyone!
Christmas is a holiday neck deep in cultural tradition and nearly untraceable folklore. I am Christian and I will admit that the holiday is only partially based in Christianity. Most of Christmas is all about cultural and familial tradition. The holiday is an amalgam of pagan and Roman practices with a few sprinkles of Christianity. Jesus wasn’t even born anytime near December… “Put Christ back in Christmas!” some may exclaim, but I maintain that for those who want him in Christmas he’s where he’s always been. If you are a Christian, aren’t you supposed to be thinking about Jesus all the time? Why get so bent out of shape for Christmas? Christmas is a cultural phenomenon and should be recognized as such. Along with the baby Jesus, we have Santa Claus, reindeer, presents, Christmas Music, wassail, snowballs, and all sorts of other tinsel covered crap!
Christians, Muslims, Atheists, and Jews come celebrate this joyful, historically rich, seasonal tradition with us! Call it Christmas because that’s what it’s called… What? You’re not Christian you say? Well I’m not Catholic, I don’t celebrate mass but I still call it ChristMAS! Also, people who get angry about the phrase “Happy Holidays” have misplaced rage, what does Holiday mean? HOLY DAY! How dare those accursed heathens call the day I celebrate my savior’s birth holy! Oh, and on the flip-side, you crazy Christians who think that Santa is evil, your kids aren’t going to burn in hell if you let them believe in Santa Claus, they’re going to die of boredom because you are boring and dumb!!! Santa is a cultural icon and if you’re worried he’ll take away the Jesus part of Christmas you’re obviously not very confident in your own beliefs and in your child’s ability to use reason.
…Okay, I’m going to calm down.
Any well-adjusted member of our society should have no qualms about the spirit of this celebration. Peace, kindness, love, family, sharing our fortune with those who are less fortunate. Why would anyone have a problem with these ideas? Has Christmas become mega-commercialized? Yes. Are Christmas Trees and lights melting the O-Zone Layer? I hope so. Are too many of our kids spoiled brats? Yes. But commercialization is a byproduct of people yearning for something; I guess it has just become misdirected. We are all so eager to slough off the rest of the mundane year and embrace something special, and we get carried away.
Don’t worry about “The War against Christmas”, if you love Christmas then go out and give Christmas a good name. Help others, show love, don’t get hung up on the little faults and unpleasant aspects of the season. Unscroo the scrooges and have a great holiday season!
Also, fun fact: Xmas is not anti-Christian, The “X” is actually indicating the Greek letter “Chi”, which is short for the Greek, meaning “Christ”. So “Xmas” and “Christmas” are essentially the same thing.
For highly informative articles on Christmas folklore follow the links:
Posted in Art, Christmas and tagged Art, Christmas, Drawings, Funny, holidays, Humor, Obama, Picklas, santa, st. nick, traditions, x-mas by maroonbeard with 3 comments.
Jethro Tull’s Ian Anderson gets the Rat Fink treatment. I’ve been “Rat Finking” a bit lately, I can’t think of a more entertaining way to draw, uninhibited hideousness, the uglier the better! I’ve done tributes to Ian Anderson in the past but I thought that a picture ala Ed Big Daddy Roth would be very appropriate. Not many a musician performs with such audacity and vigor as Ian Anderson. So what better way to “hyperbolize” his bug-eyed expression and wild disposition? You can almost hear the grunts and moans just by looking at the picture!
Posted in Art, Pop Culture and tagged Art, Drawings, Funny, ian anderson, Jethro Tull, Rat Fink, Weird by maroonbeard with no comments yet.
For more like this!
Posted in Art, Pop Culture and tagged Art, Disney, Disneyland, Drawings, Funny, Humor, Mad hatter, Mickey Mouse, Political Cartoons, Pop Culture, Rad, Rat Fink, Spooky, Tea Cup Ride, Weird by maroonbeard with no comments yet.
BE SURE TO CARVE YOUR PUMPKINS BEFORE THEY HATCH.
Posted in Art, Halloween, Pop Culture and tagged Art, Drawings, Ed Big Daddy Roth, Folklore, Funny, Halloween, Halloween Pumpkon Creature, Jack O Lantern, Rat Fink, Scary, Spooky, Strange, Weird, Zombies by maroonbeard with no comments yet.
Posted in Art, Halloween, Pop Culture and tagged Art, death, Drawings, Halloween, killing time, Scary, Skeleton, Spooky, too much time on my hands by maroonbeard with no comments yet.
When you are on your afternoon run and you’re consumed by a swarm of flesh-eating locusts… #endoftheworldproblems
Posted in Art, Pop Culture, Religion and tagged #endoftheworldproblems, America, Art, Drawings, Funny, Humor, locusts, Obama, Pop Culture, Religion, Scary, Strange, Weird by maroonbeard with no comments yet.
We live in strange times. Satire is dead, special interests must be appeased, and if you eat your pop-tart into the shape of a gun you are doomed. In my day, I whittled down the pointless hours of the school day drawing satirical and violent cartoons. I had no ill-intent towards anyone, I had no desire whatsoever to hurt anyone, for some reason blood and guts are hilarious to teenagers and the more outrageous the depiction the better.
On a recent visit to my parent’s house I came across a number of the aforementioned drawings from my days in 9th grade math class. Although crude in style and theme I am quite sure that if I were 14 year old middle school student in 2014 and a teacher caught a glimpse of any of these pictures I would be instantly expelled and possibly be submitted to psychological testing…
I do want to caution you 3 people who will look at this post to not strain your eyes by trying to read the horrific handwriting my 14 year-old self spilled onto this “art”.
The Acid Gun
The Super Nuke
The Clown Killer
Chinese Pickles with Wings
Posted in Art, Pop Culture and tagged America, Art, Common Core, democrats, Drawings, Funny, Humor, Picklas, Pickles, Political Cartoons, Political Correctness, Politics, Pop Culture, republicans, Strange, Violence, Violent Media, Weird by maroonbeard with no comments yet.
When you go grocery shopping and a catastrophic, volcanic eruption destroys the parking lot and you’re stuck on the other side of a lava flow from your car… #endoftheworldproblems
Posted in Art, Pop Culture, Religion and tagged #endoftheworldproblems, America, apocalypse, Art, Drawings, Funny, Humor, Nukes, Political Cartoons, Pop Culture, Religion, Strange, War, Weird by maroonbeard with no comments yet.