Oingo Boingo is one of my all time favorite bands and Danny Elfman’s distopian, apocalyptic, mentally unsound lyrics are some of the best in the world. The music and persona that Danny Elfman created for Oingo Boingo did exactly what music and art should do; provoked thoughts and stimulated the imagination. Oingo Boingo’s Danny Elfman is definitely near the top of my short list of favorite entertainers. Like Jethro Tull, when God releases the soundtrack from my life it is going to feature a lot of Oingo Boingo.
Ugly enough to be authentically 1980’s
Posted in Art and tagged America, Art, Drawings, music, Music, Oingo Boingo, Rad, Strange by maroonbeard with no comments yet.
Just as Santa differs in different regions so do his sidekicks. Krampus is basically a possessed, Satanic version of Black Peter and Rupert the Farm-hand. Krampus started as pre-Christian German figure and his legend spread to other alpine countries. Eventually he morphed into the guys we talked about before (Black Peter, Knecht Ruprecht) in some regions as he became incorporated into Christmas folklore. But he is still very much a part of the Christmas tradition in many places.
There are many variations of Krampus, but his basic form is that of a devilish, goat-like, beast. Long horns, cloven feet and covered with fur of varying colors.
Krampus is notoriously drunk and is said to reek of Schnapps and he likes to carry around a bundle of sticks to whip children with, and a tub or sack on his back so that he can more easily haul children off to be drowned, eaten or dragged to hell… I’m Not sure why this tradition never caught on in America.
Another Krampus-related tradition is to send out Krampus cards around the holidays. These cards usually depict Krampus shoving kids into baskets, pursuing large-breasted women or other strange sexual situations, Krampus is a real creep.
We already covered Black Peter but there are other guys that like to hang around with Santa to psychologically torment and abuse naughty children…
Ruprecht is another traditional German character. Roughly translated as Rupert the farm-hand. Rupert is basically Bizarro Santa; similar clothes but brown instead of red, long beard but it’s black instead of white, and he carries around a bag of ashes rather than toys. He gives some kids treats if they can prove to him that they are able to pray. But, if the kids are little heathens he beats them with his bag of ashes. He give bad kids crappy, useless gifts like coal, sticks and stones. So basically Santa has Rupert do all of his dirty work so he can bask in the glory of being the good guy. Apparently, Rupert can’t get a US Visa because Santa has to show his true colors and give out all the coal himself around these parts, and he seems to be pretty lax, that’s probably why kids are such spoiled brats here. We need more kids to be beaten with a bag of ashes…
Also, The Simpson’s dog is named Knecht Ruprecht in Germany rather than Santa’s little helper.
Posted in Art, Christmas and tagged Art, Christmas, Drawings, Folklore, Funny, Humor, Knecht Ruprecht, Krampus, krampuskarten, krampusnacht, legends, traditions by maroonbeard with no comments yet.
In honor of The Festival of San Picolas (Dec 6th), I have made The Tale of St. Picklas free to download on Amazon from December 6th until December 10th!
On this special day of feasting it’s also fun to remember why we honor St. Picklas, so today we’re going to explore the legends and folklore surrounding St. Picklas from around the world.
St. Picklas Origins
Have you ever wondered how St. Picklas received his sainthood?
On December 6th in the year 815 AD, Picolas De Pepinillo was on a an important mission to provide an orphanage full of starving children with a bushel of his life sustaining cucumbers. Passing through the mountains of Zarn he was caught up in an intense blizzard. Well prepared for the journey, Picolas pressed on and soon came upon a benevolent bishop on the side of the road. The man was unresponsive and nearly frozen to death. Acting quickly, De Pepinillo wrapped the bishop in his own coats and carried him through the deep snow drifts. Close to death he continued on with the thought of the poor starving children awaiting his Christmas gifts. On the doorstep of the orphanage, Picolas collapsed.
The bishop, having regained his strength, worked feverishly with the children to revive their benefactor. After trying nearly everything they attempted one last impossible task… Picolas de pepinillo awoke hours later in a tub of vinegar and cucumbers. The brine successfully thawed him out but had marinated him to the core. Any other man would have succumbed to the drastic change to their system but not Picolas. His goodness and faith had transformed him into the pickle man we know and love!
St. Picklas has expanded his mission to feed the world’s children. He is determined to bring the children of the world whatever pickle they desire; bread and butter, hamburger chips, cold pack… the choices are endless!
How is St. Picklas represented in other cultures?
You may be curious how St. Picklas is represented in other cultures. St. Picklas is widely celebrated in all parts of the world. Each area and culture integrates their traditions and beliefs in order to make St. Picklas more accesible.
Here are just a few of the variations you might find:
In the UK, children anxiously await the advent of Father Crispness, a sweet crunchy old man that has ties to the elemental celtic foundation of the British Isles. Father Crispness bestows delicious, crisp, cold pack dills to good little boys and girls.
France and Belgium.
In Frankish nations, Pere Petrin rides into town on a sleigh pulled by a team of fine bread and butter horses. Pickles are usually delivered with a sliver of cheese as the children cower beneath their sheets.
In the great, bearded, nations to the north, Sintergerkin, is assisted by his little pickled herring henchmen. He rides into villages on a great pure bred white scallion. If the children are bad, his little herrings kidnap the kids, bottle them up, and ship them to Spain. If the Children are good they are treated with roe stuffed gherkins in their shoes.
Have you ever wondered what St Picklas does during the off season?
Have you ever wondered what St Picklas does during the off season? We always see pictures of Santa Claus surfing in Hawaii or lounging on a beach in the Caribbean.
St. Picklas doesn’t have the same luxury as Old St. Nick… Remember, St. Picklas is a pickle, in order for him to maintain premium operational capacity he seals himself in a specially designed brining capsule. While Papa Noel bakes his wrinkled, cookie injected skin on the Island of Ibiza; San Picolas is gradually marinating himself in magic Christmas brine. Like a vintage vat of Christmas Wassail, St. Picklas only gets stronger with age!
If you are sick of seeing St. Picklas posts, I promise this will be the last St. Picklas post of the season.
For highly informative articles on Christmas folklore follow the links:
Posted in Art, Christmas and tagged America, Art, Children's Books, Christmas, Drawings, eBook, Humor, Picklas by maroonbeard with no comments yet.
I like Thanksgiving, it’s a fun day. But November is really just a boring intermission between two awesome holidays! I don’t have a lot of inspiration when it comes to Thanksgiving, so I probably won’t do too many posts during this period. But stay tuned for a massive onslaught of Christmas stuff once the season officially starts!
Oh and by the way, turkeys are are ugly, hideous beasts…
Posted in Art and tagged America, Art, Drawings, Funny, Humor, Thanksgiving by maroonbeard with no comments yet.
I have been trying to work on another illustrated book for some time. The story is written but I have only completed a few pages of illustration… Just thought since Halloween is approaching I’d share one of the illustrations. I don’t think the book will be ready by this Halloween but I would like to complete it during the Halloween holiday season. Wish me luck.
Posted in Art and tagged All Hallows Eve, Art, Books, Drawings, eBook, Halloween, Humor, Picklas, Scary, Spooky by maroonbeard with no comments yet.
The crisp and clear November winds now blow a steady west,
Throw up the sail, clear off the deck, Jolly Roger do your best.
No longer in these foreign seas need strangers like we roam,
Yar, laddies put on yer Sunday best, for tonight we’re sailing home.
Posted in Art and tagged Art, Children's Books, Drawings, eBook, Nuclear Waste, Picklas, Pirates, Rad, Skull by maroonbeard with no comments yet.
Posted in Art and tagged Art, Drawings, Strange by maroonbeard with no comments yet.
For those unfamiliar with the news stories represented here are some links:
First up… Rod Blagojevich goes to prison as confident as ever. Although, a man who cares as much about his hair as he does is probably going to be a very popular target among some of the more “aggressive” inmates he’ll meet there. Confidence may wane.
The map of japan doesn’t represent the one year anniversary of the Japanese earthquake/tsunami, but portrays the more recent 6.8 earthquake and mini tsunami that happened on Wednesday.
The picture of the angry Afghan Hoard represents one of many effigies burned this week in reaction to the stupid moron army sergeant that decided it would be a good idea to go and kill innocent women and babies, I would not oppose a decision to allow the Afghan people to burn a “more realistic” version of that jerk.
The oozing Spanish bull represents the toxic Spanish economic situation. It’s being reported as worse than Greece in many ways. Spain has a special place in my heart, but their government and social system is absolutely stupid.
The guy eating the hotdog is British Prime Minister David Cameron, Obama took him out to a basketball game between Mississippi Valley State Delta Devils and Western Kentucky Hilltoppers at Dayton University in Ohio during his recent visit. He ate a hot dog…. And I drew a picture of it.
The Obama flag is from a recent article I read about how a democratic organization decided to make some American flags with their leader’s face in place of the stars, a testament of their undying allegiance to the man no doubt. Or maybe a stunt to piss off the other side. If so, it worked. Either way, I think the flag is stupid. Does it represent the democrats’ eagerness to give all the power to the great executor rather than the states? Probably just a stupid flag, made by idiots.
The shamrock is a picture of a shamrock…
Posted in Uncategorized and tagged Afganistan, America, Art, Blago, Cameron, Clover, Drawings, Earthquake, Flag, Humor, Japan, News and Politics, Obama, Political Cartoons, Politics, Spain by maroonbeard with no comments yet.
Posted in Art and tagged America, Art, Drawings, Humor, Political Cartoons, Politics by maroonbeard with no comments yet.