New Free Children’s Book! There’s A Puppy In My Tummy.

My latest children’s book is now available for download!

I have added another short Children’s Book to my collection, it’s called ‘There’s A Puppy In My Tummy” and it is probably my cutesiest and least insane book to date. It’s directed to ages 0-4, if I were actually a “real” children’s book author I would print it as a board book.

This week it’s available as a FREE DOWNLOAD on amazon!

 Just click the ad to be directed to the amazon listing!




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Christmas Folklore, Legends and Traditions! The Immortal St. Picklas Origins

In honor of The Festival of San Picolas (Dec 6th), I have made The Tale of St. Picklas free to download on Amazon from December 6th until December 10th!




On this special day of feasting it’s also fun to remember why we honor St. Picklas, so today we’re going to explore the legends and folklore surrounding St. Picklas from around the world.


St. Picklas Origins


San Picolas Sainthood


Have you ever wondered how St. Picklas received his sainthood?


 On December 6th in the year 815 AD, Picolas De Pepinillo was on a an important mission to provide an orphanage full of starving children with a bushel of his life sustaining cucumbers. Passing through the mountains of Zarn he was caught up in an intense blizzard. Well prepared for the journey, Picolas pressed on and soon came upon a benevolent bishop on the side of the road. The man was unresponsive and nearly frozen to death. Acting quickly, De Pepinillo wrapped the bishop in his own coats and carried him through the deep snow drifts. Close to death he continued on with the thought of the poor starving children awaiting his Christmas gifts. On the doorstep of the orphanage, Picolas collapsed. 


 The bishop, having regained his strength, worked feverishly with the children to revive their benefactor. After trying nearly everything they attempted one last impossible task…  Picolas de pepinillo awoke hours later in a tub of vinegar and cucumbers. The brine successfully thawed him out but had marinated him to the core. Any other man would have succumbed to the drastic change to their system but not Picolas. His goodness and faith had transformed him into the pickle man we know and love!


 St. Picklas has expanded his mission to feed the world’s children. He is determined to bring the children of the world whatever pickle they desire; bread and butter, hamburger chips, cold pack… the choices are endless!


How is St. Picklas represented in other cultures?


International Picklas


You may be curious how St. Picklas is represented in other cultures. St. Picklas is widely celebrated in all parts of the world. Each area and culture integrates their traditions and beliefs in order to make St. Picklas more accesible.


 Here are just a few of the variations you might find:


 United Kingdom.

In the UK, children anxiously await the advent of Father Crispness, a sweet crunchy old man that has ties to the elemental celtic foundation of the British Isles. Father Crispness bestows delicious, crisp, cold pack dills to good little boys and girls.

 France and Belgium.

In Frankish nations, Pere Petrin rides into town on a sleigh pulled by a team of fine bread and butter horses. Pickles are usually delivered with a sliver of cheese as the children cower beneath their sheets.



In the great, bearded, nations to the north, Sintergerkin, is assisted by his little pickled herring henchmen. He rides into villages on a great pure bred white scallion. If the children are bad, his little herrings kidnap the kids, bottle them up, and ship them to Spain. If the Children are good they are treated with roe stuffed gherkins in their shoes.


Have you ever wondered what St Picklas does during the off season?


Have you ever wondered what St Picklas does during the off season? We always see pictures of Santa Claus surfing in Hawaii or lounging on a beach in the Caribbean.


  St. Picklas doesn’t have the same luxury as Old St. Nick… Remember, St. Picklas is a pickle, in order for him to maintain premium operational capacity he seals himself in a specially designed brining capsule. While Papa Noel bakes his wrinkled, cookie injected skin on the Island of Ibiza; San Picolas is gradually marinating himself in magic Christmas brine. Like a vintage vat of Christmas Wassail, St. Picklas only gets stronger with age!




If you are sick of seeing St. Picklas posts, I promise this will be the last St. Picklas post of the season.


For highly informative articles on Christmas folklore follow the links:

Christmas Folklore Legends and Traditions El Caganer

Christmas Folklore Legends and Traditions Krampus and Knecht Ruprecht

Christmas Folklore Legends and Traditions The Yule Goat

Christmas Folklore Legends and Traditions Sinterklass

Christmas Folklore Legends and Traditions X-Mas Origins

Christmas Folklore Legends and Traditions Desktop Wallpaper

Christmas Folklore Legends and Traditions A Son is Given


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Almost 400 Downloads for All Hallows’ Curse!

 All Hallows’ Curse had a pretty good run during it’s promotional period, just under 400 downloads. Thanks to everyone who downloaded the book, I hope you enjoyed it, I know I enjoyed creating it. In a couple weeks I’ll throw a free St. Picklas promotion back up. Until then, my distopian, post-apocalyptic children’s book “A Triple Rad Day” is available for free download on amazon for the next 5 days: CLICK HERE! …if you want to. Thanks again!



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I have successfully uploaded my new Halloween book to amazon and it is FREE TO DOWNLOAD FOR THE NEXT FIVE DAYS! Please follow the link to download the book, if you like it please give me a good review. And if you don’t like it…  DON’T READ IT!



All Hallows Curse!


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New Halloween Book I’m Working On

I have been trying to work on another illustrated book for some time. The story is written but I have only completed a few pages of illustration… Just thought since Halloween is approaching I’d share one of the illustrations. I don’t think the book will be ready by this Halloween but I would like to complete it during the Halloween holiday season. Wish me luck.

All hallows Curse Preview


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The Tale of St. Picklas eBook PDF! Buy it here! — USD 1.99

The Mystery of The Christmas Pickle tradition is finally revealed!

The Tale of St. Picklas eBook finally available directly from the source! Enjoy your eBook on your PC, tablet or phone. The PDF format will make the book more widely compatible with more devices. Don’t miss out on the newest Christmas tradition!

Download now for only 1.99! Just Click on Buy Now button below, after your payment is processed your download will begin.


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A TRIPLE RAD DAY! is now available to download on!

A Triple Rad Day! Is an optimistic look through the eyes of an innocent child living in a nuclear fallout zone, who’s content with life at face value.
It’s the end of the world as we know it, let go chase mutated cats while riding a nuclear iguana! Life is what you make of it.

Click on the link on the sidebar to go to the listing! >>>>


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ANNOUNCEMENT! New eBook releases this week. A Triple Rad Day!

When life gives you radioactive lemons, make awesome lemonade that turns you into a mutant!

A Triple Rad Day! is a tale of optimism. Life can go on, despite hardship and struggle. Nuclear fallout?

BAH! Let’s go ride iguanas!

Book link should be available shortly, check back later this week!


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Maroonbeard’s Gold

The crisp and clear November winds now blow a steady west,

Throw up the sail, clear off the deck, Jolly Roger do your best.

No longer in these foreign seas need strangers like we roam,

Yar, laddies put on yer Sunday best, for tonight we’re sailing home.


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Pickle Bottle Sticker Incentive


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Bookshelf 2.0 developed by


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