Every Morning At My House… A Comic Strip

DON’T WAKE UP THE BABY!

A pretty accurate depiction

A pretty accurate depiction

 

 

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Ancient Etruscan Zombie Mural

Looking deeper into the history of the un-dead, maroonbeard.com stumbled upon an ancient Etruscan Zombie Mural. This find once again reveals the similarities we share even with the oldest civilization.

Make sure to check out our previous Zombie Mural from the Persian Empire here.

EtruscanZombieMural

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Ancient Persian Zombie Mural

Recently the research team at Maroonbeard.com came across this Ancient Persian Zombie Mural and we just had to share it! This proves once again that Zombies have a far-reaching and timeless presence in the history of civilization.

as we navigate this desert by our cold, dead reckoning.

as we navigate this desert by our
cold, dead reckoning.

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Political Cartoon by Request: Rogue Bovine!

I received a special request for a political cartoon about the recent events in Nevada with The Bureau of Land Management and the Bundy Cattle Ranch. I guess my comic just calls special attention to the awesome job the Federal Government is doing to protect it’s Western States from Dangerous ROGUE BOVINES!

EDIT: Also Mr. Bundy is a moron, my comic in no way condones his idiocy.

This Land is Your Land...

This Land is Your Land…

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New Free Children’s Book! There’s A Puppy In My Tummy.

My latest children’s book is now available for download!

I have added another short Children’s Book to my collection, it’s called ‘There’s A Puppy In My Tummy” and it is probably my cutesiest and least insane book to date. It’s directed to ages 0-4, if I were actually a “real” children’s book author I would print it as a board book.

This week it’s available as a FREE DOWNLOAD on amazon!

 Just click the ad to be directed to the amazon listing!

GRRRRRR!

GRRRRRR!

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Mindless Star Wars Art for Traffic

What drives the most traffic on the internet aside from dirty pictures? Star Wars. Also internet creeps like things that are mindlessly stupid and random, and they really like it when you combine Star Wars with stuff that is mindless and random; Angry Birds? Stars Wars? Sure! Why not?! Cute little animals? Star Wars? YAY!

So, I was thinking, Fruits and Vegetables? Star Wars? They go together like peas and razor blades! Therefore I am creating a gallery of Star Wars/Fruit and Vegetables fusion art that I will add to from time to time… And here it is:

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What Really Happened to Malaysian Air Flight MH370

There have been a lot of theories about what happened to Malaysian Air Flight MH370, but we now have undeniable proof of a diabolical plot…

MalaysianAir

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COMMOИ CoЯE Caps

CommoИ CoЯE...

CommoИ CoЯE…

Imagine that you know some guy, you don’t trust him, you don’t have any confidence in him and he’s a manipulative creep. This guy draws up a plan to babysit your kids, it’s a great plan it has all sorts of important and neat features, and it’s wonderful according to him. Do you actually take the time to read his plan and weigh all the pros and cons, or do you tell him to get lost and stay away from your kids?

…That’s common core in a nutshell, as far as I’m concerned.

 

 

 

 

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The Constitution is Hanging by a Thread…

A recent article I read on The Blaze  about America being at a constitutional tipping point brought to mind an old phrase about the United States Constitution hanging by a thread. I don’t blame Obama for the complete disintegration of our political structure it has been a long time coming, but I do argue that his policies have greatly accelerated the previously gradual erosion of our freedoms.

 

The constitution is hanging by a thread.

The constitution is hanging by a thread.

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Christmas Folklore, Legends and Traditions! Krampus and Knecht Ruprecht

Krampus!

 

I've got Krampus

I’ve got Krampus

 

Just as Santa differs in different regions so do his sidekicks. Krampus is basically a possessed, Satanic version of Black Peter and Rupert the Farm-hand. Krampus started as pre-Christian German figure and his legend spread to other alpine countries. Eventually he morphed into the guys we talked about before (Black Peter, Knecht Ruprecht) in some regions as he became incorporated into Christmas folklore. But he is still very much a part of the Christmas tradition in many places.

 

There are many variations of Krampus, but his basic form is that of a devilish, goat-like, beast. Long horns, cloven feet and covered with fur of varying colors.

 

Krampus is notoriously drunk and is said to reek of Schnapps and he likes to carry around a bundle of sticks to whip children with, and a tub or sack on his back so that he can more easily haul children off to be drowned, eaten or dragged to hell… I’m Not sure why this tradition never caught on in America.

 

Another Krampus-related tradition is to send out Krampus cards around the holidays. These cards usually depict Krampus shoving kids into baskets, pursuing large-breasted women or other strange sexual situations, Krampus is a real creep.

 

 

 

Merry Krampusnacht little Hans!

Merry Krampusnacht little Hans!

We already covered Black Peter but there are other guys that like to hang around with Santa to psychologically torment  and abuse naughty children…

 

Knecht Ruprecht

 

 

Knecht Ruprecht

 

 

 Ruprecht is another traditional German character. Roughly translated as Rupert the farm-hand. Rupert is basically Bizarro Santa; similar clothes but brown instead of red, long beard but it’s black instead of white, and he carries around a bag of ashes rather than toys. He gives some kids treats if they can prove to him that they are able to pray. But, if the kids are little heathens he beats them with his bag of ashes. He give bad kids crappy, useless gifts like coal, sticks and stones. So basically Santa has Rupert do all of his dirty work so he can bask in the glory of being the good guy. Apparently, Rupert can’t get a US Visa because Santa has to show his true colors and give out all the coal himself around these parts, and he seems to be pretty lax, that’s probably why kids are such spoiled brats here. We need more kids to be beaten with a bag of ashes…

 

Also, The Simpson’s dog is named Knecht Ruprecht in Germany rather than Santa’s little helper.

 

 

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