Christmas Folklore, Legends and Traditions! More Christmas for Everyone! And The True Meaning of XMAS

More Christmas for Everyone!

 

Satan Claus putting the X back in X-mas

Satan Claus putting the X back in X-mas

Christmas is a holiday neck deep in cultural tradition and nearly untraceable folklore. I am Christian and I will admit that the holiday is only partially based in Christianity. Most of Christmas is all about cultural and familial tradition. The holiday is an amalgam of pagan and Roman practices with a few sprinkles of Christianity. Jesus probably wasn’t even born anytime near December…   “Put Christ back in Christmas!” some may exclaim, but I maintain that for those who want him in Christmas he’s where he’s always been. If you are a Christian then aren’t you supposed to be thinking about Jesus all the time? Why bend yourself so far out of shape for Christmas? Christmas is a cultural phenomenon and should be recognized as such. Along with the baby Jesus, we have Santa Claus, reindeer, presents, Christmas Music, wassail, snowballs, and all sorts of other tinsel covered crap!

 

 Christians, Muslims, Atheists, and Jews come celebrate this joyful, historically rich, seasonal tradition with us! Please, call it Christmas because that’s what it’s called… What? You’re not Christian you say? Well I’m not Catholic, I don’t celebrate mass but I still call it ChristMAS! Also, people who get angry about the phrase “Happy Holidays” have misplaced rage, what does Holiday mean? HOLY DAY! How dare those accursed atheists call the day I celebrate my savior’s birth holy! Oh, and on the flipside you crazy Christians who think that Santa is evil, your kids aren’t going to burn in hell if you let them believe in Santa Claus, they’re going to die of boredom because you are boring and dumb!!! Santa is a cultural icon, if you’re worried he’ll take away the Jesus part of Christmas you’re obviously not very confident in your own beliefs and in your children’s ability to use reason. …Okay, I’m going to calm down.

 

Any well-adjusted member of our society should have no qualms about the spirit of this celebration. Peace, kindness, love, family, sharing our fortune with those who are less fortunate. Why would anyone have a problem with these ideas? Has Christmas become mega-commercialized? Yes. Are Christmas Trees and lights melting the O-Zone Layer? I hope so. Are too many of our kids spoiled brats? Yes. But commercialization is a byproduct of people yearning for something; I guess it has just become misdirected. We are all so eager to slough off the rest of the mundane year and embrace something special, and we get carried away.

 

Don’t worry about “The War against Christmas”, if you love Christmas then go out and give Christmas a good name. Help others, show love, don’t get hung up on the little faults and unpleasant aspects of the season. Unscroo the scrooges and have a great holiday season!

 

 Also, fun fact: Xmas is not anti-Christian, The “X” is actually indicating the Greek letter “Chi”, which is short for the Greek, meaning “Christ”. So “Xmas” and “Christmas” are equal in every way except their lettering.

For highly informative articles on Christmas folklore follow the links:

Christmas Folklore Legends and Traditions El Caganer

Christmas Folklore Legends and Traditions Krampus and Knecht Ruprecht

Christmas Folklore Legends and Traditions The Yule Goat

Christmas Folklore Legends and Traditions St. Picklas

Christmas Folklore Legends and Traditions Desktop Wallpaper

Christmas Folklore Legends and Traditions A Son is Given

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Middle School Art That Would Have Gotten Me Expelled

We live in strange times. Satire is dead, special interests must be appeased, and if you eat your pop-tart into the shape of a gun you are doomed. In my day, I whittled down the pointless hours of the school day drawing satirical and violent cartoons. I had no ill-intent towards anyone, I had no desire whatsoever to hurt anyone, for some reason blood and guts are hilarious to teenagers and the more outrageous the depiction the better.

On a recent visit to my parent’s house I came across a number of the aforementioned drawings from my days in 9th grade math class. Although crude in style and theme I am quite sure that if I were 14 year old middle school student in 2014 and a teacher caught a glimpse of any of these pictures I would be instantly expelled and possibly be submitted to psychological testing…

I do want to caution you 3 people who will look at this post to not strain your eyes by trying to read the horrific handwriting my 14 year-old self spilled onto this “art”.

 

The Acid Gun

Acid Gun

The Super Nuke

 

Super Nuke

The Clown Killer

Clown Killer

Bad Day

Bad Day

Chinese Pickles with Wings

THAT'S RACIST!!!

THAT’S RACIST!!!

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Christmas Folklore, Legends and Traditions! The Immortal St. Picklas Origins

In honor of The Festival of San Picolas (Dec 6th), I have made The Tale of St. Picklas free to download on Amazon from December 6th until December 10th!

 

CLICK HERE!

 

On this special day of feasting it’s also fun to remember why we honor St. Picklas, so today we’re going to explore the legends and folklore surrounding St. Picklas from around the world.

 

St. Picklas Origins

 

San Picolas Sainthood

 

Have you ever wondered how St. Picklas received his sainthood?

 

 On December 6th in the year 815 AD, Picolas De Pepinillo was on a an important mission to provide an orphanage full of starving children with a bushel of his life sustaining cucumbers. Passing through the mountains of Zarn he was caught up in an intense blizzard. Well prepared for the journey, Picolas pressed on and soon came upon a benevolent bishop on the side of the road. The man was unresponsive and nearly frozen to death. Acting quickly, De Pepinillo wrapped the bishop in his own coats and carried him through the deep snow drifts. Close to death he continued on with the thought of the poor starving children awaiting his Christmas gifts. On the doorstep of the orphanage, Picolas collapsed. 

 

 The bishop, having regained his strength, worked feverishly with the children to revive their benefactor. After trying nearly everything they attempted one last impossible task…  Picolas de pepinillo awoke hours later in a tub of vinegar and cucumbers. The brine successfully thawed him out but had marinated him to the core. Any other man would have succumbed to the drastic change to their system but not Picolas. His goodness and faith had transformed him into the pickle man we know and love!

 

 St. Picklas has expanded his mission to feed the world’s children. He is determined to bring the children of the world whatever pickle they desire; bread and butter, hamburger chips, cold pack… the choices are endless!

 

How is St. Picklas represented in other cultures?

 

International Picklas

 

You may be curious how St. Picklas is represented in other cultures. St. Picklas is widely celebrated in all parts of the world. Each area and culture integrates their traditions and beliefs in order to make St. Picklas more accesible.

 

 Here are just a few of the variations you might find:

 

 United Kingdom.

In the UK, children anxiously await the advent of Father Crispness, a sweet crunchy old man that has ties to the elemental celtic foundation of the British Isles. Father Crispness bestows delicious, crisp, cold pack dills to good little boys and girls.

 France and Belgium.

In Frankish nations, Pere Petrin rides into town on a sleigh pulled by a team of fine bread and butter horses. Pickles are usually delivered with a sliver of cheese as the children cower beneath their sheets.

 

 Netherlands.

In the great, bearded, nations to the north, Sintergerkin, is assisted by his little pickled herring henchmen. He rides into villages on a great pure bred white scallion. If the children are bad, his little herrings kidnap the kids, bottle them up, and ship them to Spain. If the Children are good they are treated with roe stuffed gherkins in their shoes.

 

Have you ever wondered what St Picklas does during the off season?

 

Have you ever wondered what St Picklas does during the off season? We always see pictures of Santa Claus surfing in Hawaii or lounging on a beach in the Caribbean.

 

  St. Picklas doesn’t have the same luxury as Old St. Nick… Remember, St. Picklas is a pickle, in order for him to maintain premium operational capacity he seals himself in a specially designed brining capsule. While Papa Noel bakes his wrinkled, cookie injected skin on the Island of Ibiza; San Picolas is gradually marinating himself in magic Christmas brine. Like a vintage vat of Christmas Wassail, St. Picklas only gets stronger with age!

 

Kosher?

Kosher?

If you are sick of seeing St. Picklas posts, I promise this will be the last St. Picklas post of the season.

 

For highly informative articles on Christmas folklore follow the links:

Christmas Folklore Legends and Traditions El Caganer

Christmas Folklore Legends and Traditions Krampus and Knecht Ruprecht

Christmas Folklore Legends and Traditions The Yule Goat

Christmas Folklore Legends and Traditions Sinterklass

Christmas Folklore Legends and Traditions X-Mas Origins

Christmas Folklore Legends and Traditions Desktop Wallpaper

Christmas Folklore Legends and Traditions A Son is Given

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Almost 400 Downloads for All Hallows’ Curse!

 All Hallows’ Curse had a pretty good run during it’s promotional period, just under 400 downloads. Thanks to everyone who downloaded the book, I hope you enjoyed it, I know I enjoyed creating it. In a couple weeks I’ll throw a free St. Picklas promotion back up. Until then, my distopian, post-apocalyptic children’s book “A Triple Rad Day” is available for free download on amazon for the next 5 days: CLICK HERE! …if you want to. Thanks again!

thrrnfd

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New Halloween Book I’m Working On

I have been trying to work on another illustrated book for some time. The story is written but I have only completed a few pages of illustration… Just thought since Halloween is approaching I’d share one of the illustrations. I don’t think the book will be ready by this Halloween but I would like to complete it during the Halloween holiday season. Wish me luck.

All hallows Curse Preview

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Maroonbeard, St. Picklas Merch!

St. Picklas, Maroonbeard, and radioactive themed junk now available for purchase! Be the first to have a friend ask what in the crap St. Picklas is when you wear his face on your shirt!

http://www.cafepress.com/maroonbeardsplunder?aid=66109099

 

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The Tale of St. Picklas eBook PDF! Buy it here! — USD 1.99

The Mystery of The Christmas Pickle tradition is finally revealed!

The Tale of St. Picklas eBook finally available directly from the source! Enjoy your eBook on your PC, tablet or phone. The PDF format will make the book more widely compatible with more devices. Don’t miss out on the newest Christmas tradition!

Download now for only 1.99! Just Click on Buy Now button below, after your payment is processed your download will begin.

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A TRIPLE RAD DAY! is now available to download on amazon.com!

A Triple Rad Day! Is an optimistic look through the eyes of an innocent child living in a nuclear fallout zone, who’s content with life at face value.
It’s the end of the world as we know it, let go chase mutated cats while riding a nuclear iguana! Life is what you make of it.

Click on the link on the sidebar to go to the listing! >>>>

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ANNOUNCEMENT! New eBook releases this week. A Triple Rad Day!

When life gives you radioactive lemons, make awesome lemonade that turns you into a mutant!

A Triple Rad Day! is a tale of optimism. Life can go on, despite hardship and struggle. Nuclear fallout?

BAH! Let’s go ride iguanas!

Book link should be available shortly, check back later this week!

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Maroonbeard’s Gold

The crisp and clear November winds now blow a steady west,

Throw up the sail, clear off the deck, Jolly Roger do your best.

No longer in these foreign seas need strangers like we roam,

Yar, laddies put on yer Sunday best, for tonight we’re sailing home.

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