Your own printable Krampus card!!!
Just as Santa differs in different regions so do his sidekicks. Krampus is basically a possessed, Satanic version of Black Peter and Rupert the Farm-hand. Krampus started as pre-Christian German figure and his legend spread to other alpine countries. Eventually he morphed into the guys we talked about before (Black Peter, Knecht Ruprecht) in some regions as he became incorporated into Christmas folklore. But he is still very much a part of the Christmas tradition in many places.
There are many variations of Krampus, but his basic form is that of a devilish, goat-like, beast. Long horns, cloven feet and covered with fur of varying colors.
Krampus is notoriously drunk and is said to reek of Schnapps and he likes to carry around a bundle of sticks to whip children with, and a tub or sack on his back so that he can more easily haul children off to be drowned, eaten or dragged to hell… I’m Not sure why this tradition never caught on in America.
Another Krampus-related tradition is to send out Krampus cards around the holidays. These cards usually depict Krampus shoving kids into baskets, pursuing large-breasted women or other strange sexual situations. Krampus is a real creep.
We already covered Black Peter but there are other guys that like to hang around with Santa to psychologically torment and abuse naughty children…
Ruprecht is another traditional German character. Roughly translated as Rupert the farm-hand. Rupert is basically Bizarro Santa; similar clothes but brown instead of red, long beard but it’s black instead of white, and he carries around a bag of ashes rather than toys. He gives some kids treats if they can prove to him that they are able to pray. But, if the kids are little heathens he beats them with his bag of ashes. He give bad kids crappy, useless gifts like coal, sticks and stones. So basically Santa has Rupert do all of his dirty work so he can bask in the glory of being the good guy. Apparently, Rupert can’t get a US Visa because Santa has to show his true colors and give out all the coal himself around these parts, and he seems to be pretty lax, that’s probably why kids are such spoiled brats here. We need more kids to be beaten with a bag of ashes…
Also, The Simpson’s dog is named Knecht Ruprecht in Germany rather than Santa’s little helper.
For more highly informative Christmas folklore follow the links!!!
Posted in Art, Christmas, Pop Culture and tagged Art, ArtX ChristmasX DrawingsX FolkloreX FunnyX HumorX Knecht RuprechtX KrampusX krampuskartenX krampusnachtX legendsX traditions, Christmas, Drawings, Folklore, Funny, Humor, Pop Culture, Spooky, Strange, Weird by maroonbeard with no comments yet.
For more like this!
Posted in Art, Pop Culture and tagged Art, Disney, Disneyland, Drawings, Funny, Humor, Mad hatter, Mickey Mouse, Political Cartoons, Pop Culture, Rad, Rat Fink, Spooky, Tea Cup Ride, Weird by maroonbeard with no comments yet.
When you are on your afternoon run and you’re consumed by a swarm of flesh-eating locusts… #endoftheworldproblems
Posted in Art, Pop Culture, Religion and tagged #endoftheworldproblems, America, Art, Drawings, Funny, Humor, locusts, Obama, Pop Culture, Religion, Scary, Strange, Weird by maroonbeard with no comments yet.
We live in strange times. Satire is dead, special interests must be appeased, and if you eat your pop-tart into the shape of a gun you are doomed. In my day, I whittled down the pointless hours of the school day drawing satirical and violent cartoons. I had no ill-intent towards anyone, I had no desire whatsoever to hurt anyone, for some reason blood and guts are hilarious to teenagers and the more outrageous the depiction the better.
On a recent visit to my parent’s house I came across a number of the aforementioned drawings from my days in 9th grade math class. Although crude in style and theme I am quite sure that if I were 14 year old middle school student in 2014 and a teacher caught a glimpse of any of these pictures I would be instantly expelled and possibly be submitted to psychological testing…
I do want to caution you 3 people who will look at this post to not strain your eyes by trying to read the horrific handwriting my 14 year-old self spilled onto this “art”.
The Acid Gun
The Super Nuke
The Clown Killer
Chinese Pickles with Wings
Posted in Art, Pop Culture and tagged America, Art, Common Core, democrats, Drawings, Funny, Humor, Picklas, Pickles, Political Cartoons, Political Correctness, Politics, Pop Culture, republicans, Strange, Violence, Violent Media, Weird by maroonbeard with no comments yet.
When you go grocery shopping and a catastrophic, volcanic eruption destroys the parking lot and you’re stuck on the other side of a lava flow from your car… #endoftheworldproblems
Posted in Art, Pop Culture, Religion and tagged #endoftheworldproblems, America, apocalypse, Art, Drawings, Funny, Humor, Nukes, Political Cartoons, Pop Culture, Religion, Strange, War, Weird by maroonbeard with no comments yet.
“Goodbye Blue Sky”
Did you see the frightened ones
Did you hear the falling bombs
Did you ever wonder
Why we had to run for shelter
When the promise of a brave new world
Unfurled beneath a clear blue sky
Oooooooo ooo ooooo oooh
Did you see the frightened ones
Did you hear the falling bombs
The flames are all long gone
But the pain lingers on
Goodbye blue sky
Goodbye blue sky
Posted in Art, Pop Culture and tagged America, Art, Drawings, Music, Nukes, Pink Floyd, Political Cartoons, Politics, Pop Culture, Putin, Scary, Strange, War, Weird by maroonbeard with no comments yet.
Looking deeper into the history of the un-dead, maroonbeard.com stumbled upon an ancient Etruscan Zombie Mural. This find once again reveals the similarities we share even with the oldest civilization.
Make sure to check out our previous Zombie Mural from the Persian Empire here.
Posted in Art, Pop Culture and tagged Art, Drawings, Etruscans, Folklore, Funny, Halloween, Humor, Pop Culture, Spooky, Weird, Zombies by maroonbeard with no comments yet.
Recently the research team at Maroonbeard.com came across this Ancient Persian Zombie Mural and we just had to share it! This proves once again that Zombies have a far-reaching and timeless presence in the history of civilization.
Posted in Pop Culture and tagged Ads, Art, Books, Drawings, Folklore, Funny, Humor, Iran, Middle East, Persia, Pop Culture, War, Weird, Zombies by maroonbeard with no comments yet.
Hi Jethro Tull Fans! I made a weird picture with some somewhat obscure song references for the amateur Jethro Tull Fan. I’m sure die-hard fans will get the references quite easily. I do realize that I left out all the animals from Bungle in the Jungle, but I didn’t feel like drawing a Jungle’s worth of animals…
Posted in Art, Pop Culture and tagged Art, Bungle, Drawings, Homo Erraticus, Humor, ian anderson, Jethro Tull, Music, Pop Culture, Rock and Roll, Strange, Weird by maroonbeard with no comments yet.
What drives the most traffic on the internet aside from dirty pictures? Star Wars. Also internet creeps like things that are mindlessly stupid and random, and they really like it when you combine Star Wars with stuff that is mindless and random; Angry Birds? Stars Wars? Sure! Why not?! Cute little animals? Star Wars? YAY!
So, I was thinking, Fruits and Vegetables? Star Wars? They go together like peas and razor blades! Therefore I am creating a gallery of Star Wars/Fruit and Vegetables fusion art that I will add to from time to time… And here it is:
Posted in Art, Pop Culture and tagged Art, Banana Vader, Chewbacca, Darth Banana, Darth Vader is a Banana, Drawings, Fan Art, Fan Fiction, Fruit, Funny, Humor, Nuclear Waste, Pop Culture, Star Wars, Strange, Vegetables, Weird by maroonbeard with no comments yet.